whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
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I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Your cock deserves a montage
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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