I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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