You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Boobs speak an international language.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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