There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize