You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
what day is it and did you see me today?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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