you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
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Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
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I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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