I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize