Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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