oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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