:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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