So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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