i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
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I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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