Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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