Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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