apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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