My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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