The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize