I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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