with your own penis?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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