i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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