Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize