I think i peed on brittanys purse
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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