Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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