Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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