dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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