sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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