You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize