i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize