clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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