She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize