why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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