we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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