smell my finger.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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