I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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