All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize