You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
well you can't waste a boner
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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