The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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