I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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