did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize