girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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