Only a mothe r could love this liver
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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