So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
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How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
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Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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