Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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