did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize