WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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