i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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