i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize