I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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