I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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