i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize